In this first part of 2 part podcast, Dr. Steve Hudgins sits down with Mallary Tarpley for a moving and candid conversation about grief, identity, and recovery. Mallary shares her personal journey, beginning with the loss of her mother to cancer at age 11, and how that profound grief led to her struggle with anorexia nervosa throughout her adolescence. Together, they explore the complicated landscape of the “middle place” – a space between acute illness and full recovery that’s often overlooked in discussions of both eating disorders and mourning.
Mallary opens up about her family dynamics, the misconceptions around eating disorders, and how writing became a path toward healing and understanding. This episode is a poignant exploration of what it means to live, grieve, and recover without ever reaching a definitive sense of closure, offering empathy and insight for anyone navigating similar challenges.

Key Moments:
01:23 Navigating Grief and ‘The Middle Place’
05:07 Struggling with Grief and Control
09:05 Exploring Strength and Truth
11:30 Writing as Coping Mechanism
13:59 Healing Through Posthumous Letters
16:52 Anorexia’s Unexpected Realization
21:52 Eating Disorder Misconceptions Hamper Treatment
23:24 “Insights on Parenting and Recovery”

About the guest :
Mallary Tarpley’s journey through recovery has shaped her into a resilient and insightful individual. One year after first finding herself in a hospital bed – sick with anorexia nervosa and unable to eat – Mallary began to recognize the deeply personal struggles underlying her illness. Her first hospitalization was a moment of realization: if she wanted to survive, she would have to seek recovery, though true change would take much longer.
Over time, with five hospitalizations and a year and a half in residential treatment, Mallary came to understand that her disorder had taken from her, rather than given her control or closeness she once hoped to find. This hard-won insight has informed her perspective and strengthened her resolve on the healing journey.
How to connect Mallary Tarpley :
Weekly newsletter: https://mallary.substack.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mallarytenoretarpley/?hl=en
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallary-tenore-tarpley
Personal website: https://www.mallarytenoretarpley.com/